Amazed

I have spent a few days in a bit of a funk. After reading some difficult Old Testament reading, I felt confused and lost in the darkness of ignorance.

Living in a culture in which education is valued so highly and is no longer necessarily elite like it used to be, information and knowledge are readily available to those who are willing to search for it; spending time in the library or even (God forbid) perusing the Internet proves to be an effective means for acquiring any information one wants to know. From the perspective of someone with a Bachelor's Degree and currently obtaining my elitist Master's Degree (lol), the fact that there's something I want to know that I may never know isn't easy to swallow. But the fact is, this is how God intended it.

I've had a moment of clarity. I have NO reason to doubt God. I literally have the exact life I imagined for myself after my move to Chicago. Everything I was worried about, everything I desperately prayed and cried about before I moved here has proven to be nothing to have worried about. I have friends, GREAT friends. I even have a best friend. School is great. It's not too hard for me, and no one thinks I'm stupid. I have a terrific job and plenty of money.

Disclaimer: I know these things are trivial and without them, I'd still have faith, but they are answered prayers.

Point: How could I have spent the last couple of days feeling abandoned?

Sarah, Thank you so much for talking me down from this yesterday. You are the perfect friend and mentor, so selfless and kind. Even when I'm acting crazy and irrational, you try to understand what I'm going through and totally make me feel NOT crazy and irrational. I don't know who I'd be if I'd never met you, but I do know I wouldn't be this, the me I've turned into. You're one of God's best gifts to me. Love forever.

This is what I've learned this week. God is good. We know this because we just know. It's in us because he made us. Even when it seems God is unfair and His plan is failing, we rest in the faith that he is good. He will not abandon.