My head feels like it's under water. Not knowing which way is up or down. Where do I go from here. Always bugging God wondering what's going to happen. It's all for the best. God works for the good of those who He has called according to His purpose. Am I called? I think so. Am I drunk? Maybe. Am I confused? Definitely. I want to know. God tell me, where do I go from here. It's a secret. It's a plan. Trust me. HOW? How, when I can't know? I read the last page first in every book I've ever read. I want to read my last page. I want to know I'm going to be okay. You'll be okay; God's looking out for you. HOW? Eternal life. Salvation. Propitiation. Atonement. I know these things. BUT. Will I have a job? Will I have friends? Will I be okay?

WILL I BE OKAY???

Where do I go from here?

Faith.

Romans 12:18

Romans 12:18 says "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

When I look back on the times this verse has changed my life for the better, I'm overwhelmed. I remember the first time I looked at this verse specifically. Sarah, my always wise mentor, revealed it to me when I was asking her for advice about what to do about a friend with whom I'd had a falling out.

I've had a lot of falling outs in my lifetime. I'm sure others must have, too, but I feel like I have too many. I pretty much started out life by falling out with my dad, and I've harbored a lot of anger since then. Since childhood I felt anger before I could even know the word. Anger at being abandoned, forgotten. Then my mother made an unfortunate choice for my stepfather, and I had more anger. Anger that she didn't choose me. Anger that he didn't see me as his daughter but rather as one to be tolerated in his house. Anger that he didn't financially support but drained my mom. Feeling anger at such a young age, I've grown accustomed to it to the point that anger seems natural. It's like a malignant tumor spreading through my body without my even realizing it until it's too late, and I've lost a friend.

The abandonment issue is the thing that most readily makes me angry. It's really sadness that manifests as anger because anger is easier for me to control. When I feel abandoned, I close off. I want to forget that person mattered to me because I want to forget I was abandoned by them.

I honestly believe that you're better off without some people, and just because you remove them from your life doesn't mean you aren't at peace with them. The first time I was really burdened by a falling out was in college. I had been friends with her for over a decade, and I let my anger and sadness go too far. I was burdened for two years, missing her but feeling too abandoned to recognize my wrongness. Finally, in light of this verse and thanks to Sarah's godly guidance I contacted my friend and now she is once again one of the dearest people to me. Even if only for this reason, I thank God for this verse.

This verse also helped reconcile me with my dad (with whom I hadn't spoken for four years), it taught me how to get peace with a former best friend because even though reconciliation wasn't possible from his perspective, I had done what I could do, and now it will help me with a friend I lost a few months ago.

It doesn't quite seem that I've been in Chicago long enough to have made and lost friends, but there is one whose friendship has slipped through my fingers. He was a dear friend, but he has some characteristics and behavior patterns I find it difficult to respect, and he drug my best friend into them. My irritation escaladed out of control, and we didn't speak for months until Wes and I saw him at the grocery store last night. I texted him last night saying we should talk, and he said he'd like that. My goal is to have peace with him because Paul's right. Sometimes we can't be at peace because we can't control the actions of others, but so far as ourselves are concerned, peace with everyone would truly be a Utopia, and I know from experience that it's hard and scary to put yourself out there, but God sees His will done, and he looks out for those who try to please Him.

Boxes

It's been a great couple of weeks. Being in Carbondale wasn't that great, but seeing Wes was awesome, and driving back up together gave us some much needed catching up time. It's just that being around so many theatre people all fighting each other for attention, it's annoying. But he was ready to leave and I was so ready to have him back. He's been sleeping on my couch this whole time, and it's been fun.

I also have two new temporary roommates. It's really interesting to see how having roommates I like changes my outlook on life. They are both so cool. One's a dancer and the other is a doctor, so they're both really interesting, too.

All of my friends got together for the Fourth, and we had such a great time. I have such great friends here. It really is amazing.

So I find myself again packing up my life to move to my new studio apartment. I'm just glad I'm only going a couple of blocks this time. It does have me thinking about how much my life has changed since the last time I did this. When I left Bowling Green, I was scared. But looking back, there was nothing to be scared of. I've pretty much conquered Chicago, and I have all of these great people in my life.

These people love me, not only at my best but at my worst. If I had known these people were waiting for me when I left Bowling Green, my last night there would have probably produced a lot less tears. I'm proud of myself for being brave, for going against the wishes of my family and the trends of my hometown. I'm living the life I've chosen, and I love it.

Summer

What a perfect ending to a crazy school year. With Wes being gone, I've had to be more resourceful when it comes to friends which really worked in my favor. I've realized I do have more than one friend and they are all pretty awesome. I'm really happy with my first school year in Chicago. I've gotten all A's so far, I'm stoked with my work and what I've learned and accomplished, and made some good school friends.

I mentioned I spent the weekend in Libby's lake house. Libby drove us there, and Missy joined us for Friday night. Two of Libby's brothers came too, and for Friday and Saturday, her boyfriend Alex. It was so relaxing. We laid on the beach, I got sunburned, we shopped, drank, and played games.

This weekend I'm going to Carbondale to see Wes's show and drive back up with him. I can't wait to see him again! I'm just so excited that it's summer and I can read and write and do whatever I want to. I feel so free, and the possibilities of this city are endless.

Lake House

This weekend I'm staying with Libby in her family's lake house on Lake Michigan. It's so beautiful. I feel like every worry or concern I had in Chicago just melted away when we got here. The house is huge and impressive. In Libby's words "excessive." Enough bedrooms for everyone to get their own and bathrooms and walk-in closets in them. I feel like a princess staying in this room. This morning I'm up before everyone else (or they were all up super early and have all gone somewhere....). I'm laying in bed with the door to the balcony open listening to the waves. This world is perfect.

To The World

Well, hi there, world. I've known you for almost 25 years now, and I've still yet to understand anything you say. True, I spend most of my time ignoring you in favor of my own fantasy world, but that's not my fault. It's just that mine's better. Sorry to say.

In my fantasy world, I don't walk past the doorway to a store shut down for the night and see a homeless person sleeping there.

But let's be real, most of my fantasy world is about me. In my fantasy world, my emotions don't get the best of me. I'm not controlling or possessive even as I see how ridiculous I am. I am not needy. I am self-sufficient and independent. In my fantasy world, everyone loves me (except those I don't care about). In my fantasy world, I'm a writer, an actress, a singer, Mrs. Robert Pattinson, a tribute in the Hunger Games, a princess, immortal, Mrs. Jimmy Fallon, whatever I want.

But you, world, when you come upon me, it's like I'm standing in the shower, vulnerable, under ice cold water. My skin prickles up into bumps, my teeth chatter, I convulse uncontrollably as I realize just how harsh a realization it is that my fantasies will never be completely reconciled to you, to the rules of your system. The system of the world's natural order and the systems our societal ancestors have set up before us to hold us back, the ones we'll spend our whole life's working against, the ones that will kill us in the end.

And as we lie there, writhing from the pain of a life spent in a box someone else made for us, we'll wonder why we did it. And try our damnedest to convince ourselves it was worth it.

The Ends of The World

What an amazing couple of days I've had. Just the kind of amazing in which it is revealed to you just how amazing your regular life is. Sometimes I can't believe that this life is my regular life. I think about my life 10 years ago: a freshman at Hazard High School wondering if I'd ever make it out of those mountains alive before they suffocated me. Wondering if I'd ever find a place where I'd fit in, where people understand me without even trying, where ambition isn't a four letter word.

Well, I've found it. As it turns out, I'm not that different after all.

Last night was Tuesday. Some of you may know that Tuesdays have turned into a kind of friend night in which Wes and I hang out after school/rehearsal. Last night we met up with John Mark and walked to the lake. We live quite close to the lake, and it was warmer than it has been. When we got there, the lights of the Chicago skyline stared back at us and beyond that to to the left, black water. Wes made the comment that it looked like we had just walked to the end of the world. What if the end of the world were 4 blocks from your apartment? Sometimes it feels that way doesn't it. Like your life is the world. But it's not. Not even close. Looking at the city, it becomes clear that there are so many people going about their business totally unaware of my existence. I'll never meet them, but they're a part of me because we walk the same streets. We see the same homeless guy; we both gave him a dollar. I bought a sandwich she made before she left work. I'm a part of them. We ride the same train.

It was so beautiful. I never get tired of it, the beauty of the city. We were far enough from downtown to see the entire skyline and even a few stars. I am truly blessed that God led me here. We sat facing it and talked for an hour or so. Then we walked home. I walked home barefoot.

Just happiness.

L'avenir

I do a lot of worrying about the future. Worrying may be too strong a word, but I think about it, muse about it often. The fact is, I'll probably never be the kind of person who is settled, who has a good idea of where they'll be in a couple of years, who they'll be with or what they'll be doing. This makes that kind of worrying inevitable. That's okay to me because I don't want to be that person, and the worrying is a price worth paying.

I find myself, when I have nights at home, thinking about the changes inevitable in my life and dreading them. However, this is what keeps life exciting. The never knowing, the never even thinking you know.

But the great thing about all this worry is that I know the reason I worry is because my life is pretty great now. Actually, pretty fantastic, almost without flaw. Even though I have some concerns about where my life is taking me, I know there are years of exciting adventures ahead of me. I'm enjoying these days and looking forward to those to come.

Hope

Okay. I'm gonna be honest with y'all for a minute. It's been a rough couple of days. We all have them. The days where you just get into a funk you can't get out of. You forget everything awesome about your life and focus on the one thing that's not perfect. You close off, reject God's blessings, God's will.

That's over for now thanks to the amazing blessing I just received in the form of my small group.

I had been undecided about how I fit into this group. Sometimes I loved it; other times I wasn't so sure. Tonight was just amazing. I made a decision to not think about the time or what I was going to do after. I was present. I stayed after to socialize. I think I'm on my way to a Godly relationship with these people. Praise Him for that. He knows I need it.

I opened up. The topic this week was suffering and how Satan uses that to take us away from God. See, God can give us clarity and wisdom in tough situations, but if we push Him away, we are left with Satan, who purposefully blinds us to bring us to his side. I told them about when Josh died. My anger and sadness. I became totally vulnerable with them for the first time. I was scared, but it was so rewarding. I feel so close to them right now. This is one of the most amazing things God has done for me.

I've been feeling a bit alone. I have some great friends here in Chicago. Close friends that I feared before moving here that I'd never have again. I have nothing to complain about in that area. But now I have a Bible Study. One with whom I'm vulnerable and get support in return.

One of the questions was how does God give us clarity. I told them about Sarah and how she's always honest with me and how God uses her to help me see the truth. I told a story about my pride and tendency for the dramatic emotions, and they laughed like the girls in my CRU Bible Study used to. I'm glad my storytelling skills are not lost on yankees :)

I am just so thankful right now. I feel blessed even though I don't deserve it. I've been accusing God of abandoning me. What was I thinking? He led me here, and he led me to these people. Most of them have been here less than a year. We all need each other. For those of you who I confide in, thanks for your prayers. Things are looking so good.

Bowling Green

Sometimes I just don't know what's the matter with me. My life is good. I have so much to be thankful for. But that hasn't stopped me from being a total wreck lately. It's not that I'm miserable all the time. It's just that the slightest thing can make me totally sad. I'm so emotional, even more so than usual, and I'm having a difficult time hiding it.

I feel like I left myself in Bowling Green. You know, like my real self, and my Chicago self is just a shadow of the me I used to be, the me I used to like.

In Bowling Green, I was confident, secure, self-assured. A night in alone didn't mean I was friendless; it meant I was having some much-needed Savannah-time. But now, I feel like so loserish because I'm home at 10pm on a Sunday and I don't have to work tomorrow.

In Bowling Green, I was good. I prayed. I read the Bible. I had a ton a Christian friends who held me accountable. Here I feel so alone in my walk. Here I pray and read the Bible but not nearly as much as I did. I go to church more, though. I do have some church friends, too, but not ones that I see outside of church/Bible study. It's just, cultivating relationships with people is hard.

I could try to look back and understand when the chaos of emotions started. When exactly I started acting like a constantly pre-menstrual basket case. But I think I know the answer. My life here isn't God-centered. It's Savannah-centered, or more accurately, fun-centered. I'm always looking for a good time, never really thinking about anything else.

Whatever. There's a sociologist, Georg Simmel. He wrote about the effects of cities on the psyche. He said that in small towns, there are fewer people, so they are emotionally closer. There are fewer boundaries that one must cross to become close with others. In the city, however, emotional relationships don't exist. One is thought of mostly as a consumer. We are bombarded everyday with adds and stores and sales. They don't want your name. They want you to buy stuff. Because of that, we feel dehumanized, subconsciously, of course, because nothing really happens consciously anymore. In cities we live so close together, we are forced to set up boundaries because we can't let everyone in. We live in small spaces; we are consumers; we are anonymous most of the time, most of our lives spent with our heads down, never knowing those people passing us, knowing we'll never meet any of these people. So we close off.

Maybe it's the abrupt change from small town to big city relationships that has me thrown off. I used to dream of the day I'd be anonymous. I remember complaining about that everyday in high school. Now I'm not so sure I like it.

I know what I have to do. I have to channel the Bowling Green Savannah and bring her here with me. She's independent, confident, beautiful, hilarious, some people love her, some don't care for her, but that's okay, she knows what she wants and how to get it, she is motivated, in control. I worked to make myself this, and I lost a lot of it in the move. But I know she's still boxed away somewhere in storage, and I'm going to find her. I loved her.

Proof

Last night was kind of weird. A mixture of pms, whiskey, and talking about my family a few hours before had me in a mood of the worst kind. The cold and rain didn't hurt either. I had plans to take pictures with Wes and John Mark and assumed we'd hang out after, which we did. I didn't feel like talking; I didn't feel like dancing or laughing or having fun. I was feeling so sensitive. Looking back on it, obnoxiously so, although at the time, I blamed it on them. I eventually got my mind off of it for a while and had a good time.

This morning I woke up ready to withdraw. I thought maybe I was spending too much time with the same people. My nights are getting redundant. Same places, same whiskey, every night. I had decided to take a break from it all.

I had an appointment to set up a membership at a local gym, so I went there at noon today. After a while of touring the gym and setting things up, I had the following conversation:

Guy: I feel like I need to say something to you.

Me: What?

Guy: Are you a Christian?

Me: Yeah...

Guy: I just feel like God is telling me to talk to you.

Me: *Wide-eyed look*

Guy: It's just, when I was talking to you on the phone and now here today I got a feeling about you. Are you a creative person?

Me: Well, yeah, kinda, I'm a writer.

Guy: I figured that.

He goes on to tell me that he thinks I'm sensitive and wise. That sometimes I get upset easily because I experience emotions strongly. That's what makes me creative. He says I help people with their problems because I'm a good listener and sensitive to feelings, that I understand feelings. That I can help because God speaks through me because I open myself up to the Holy Spirit. He says he's the pastor of a small church.

Typing it out, it sounds cheap. It sounds like some kind of lame psychic reading, and I'm doing a bad job relating it.

Anyway, he talked about how people withdraw from others because of things that have happened in the past or with our families or something, but it's important not to because relationships are the most important thing about Christianity.

I can't remember all the things he said, but they all hit me so hard that I almost cried there in his office. I told him I thought the Holy Spirit must be speaking through him because I desperately needed to hear those things at that very moment. He asked if we could pray together in his office. I said yes, of course, so he closed the door, and he prayed for a while. He said amazing things. He said he felt like I was fully the Lord's, that I could help people, that I had so much love. It was one of the best prayers I've ever heard because it felt so spirit filled. I cried.

I guess God had a message for me, and I wasn't opening myself up enough to hear it on my own.

See people I won't ever meet

I've been thinking a lot lately about all the people that have come and gone from my life. Mostly the ones who have gone. Some have gone slowly, gradually, a gentle and easy growing apart. Others have gone quickly in a dramatic falling out. Usually, it's somewhere in between these two extremes.

I realize I'm always talking about being scared of change. When things are good, it's only natural for me to want them the stay the same, so I'll know they'll always be good. Right now things are great, just really great. Quite possibly the best they've ever been. So I worry sometimes, more often than I'd like to admit, that things as they are here in Chicago will change and not be great anymore.

The thing is, I'm also afraid that things will stay the same. If I thought that the rest of my life would be this, I would hate it. I would be miserable. I want to move around, never settle, but there are some things I feel like I need to hold on to.

It would be awesome if I could just have faith.

But failure one conceals

Everything had always come quite easily to Savannah Tankersley, that is, everything except for the one thing she'd wanted most of all, Fame. That is to say Fame, not celebrity. Savannah distinguished Fame from celebrity as more of an infamy, immortality. She lived in fear, in utter, shivering, debilitating fear that the last time her name would be seen in print would be in her obituary, the program of her funeral.

As her life slipped away, as breaths were fewer to come by and heartbeats simply to expensive for her to purchase, she prayed not for redemption, for forgiveness of her sins (mostly hidden in her heart besides those she'd extracted and burdened her characters with). No, not for that. She prayed instead that someone would find her files, the words she'd saved on her computer. Words were breath, indeed. That those words would affect someone. That the world would understand her message. That the nations would lament her death, crying out, "If only she had lived, the world would have had another genius." That the world be changed through the powerful whisper of her words.

Probably not, since nothing was completed, nothing fully finished.

And here she lies, actively participating in a death not even in the least bit newsworthy, leaving only the epitaph:

She lived, died, and no one was changed.

Amazed

I have spent a few days in a bit of a funk. After reading some difficult Old Testament reading, I felt confused and lost in the darkness of ignorance.

Living in a culture in which education is valued so highly and is no longer necessarily elite like it used to be, information and knowledge are readily available to those who are willing to search for it; spending time in the library or even (God forbid) perusing the Internet proves to be an effective means for acquiring any information one wants to know. From the perspective of someone with a Bachelor's Degree and currently obtaining my elitist Master's Degree (lol), the fact that there's something I want to know that I may never know isn't easy to swallow. But the fact is, this is how God intended it.

I've had a moment of clarity. I have NO reason to doubt God. I literally have the exact life I imagined for myself after my move to Chicago. Everything I was worried about, everything I desperately prayed and cried about before I moved here has proven to be nothing to have worried about. I have friends, GREAT friends. I even have a best friend. School is great. It's not too hard for me, and no one thinks I'm stupid. I have a terrific job and plenty of money.

Disclaimer: I know these things are trivial and without them, I'd still have faith, but they are answered prayers.

Point: How could I have spent the last couple of days feeling abandoned?

Sarah, Thank you so much for talking me down from this yesterday. You are the perfect friend and mentor, so selfless and kind. Even when I'm acting crazy and irrational, you try to understand what I'm going through and totally make me feel NOT crazy and irrational. I don't know who I'd be if I'd never met you, but I do know I wouldn't be this, the me I've turned into. You're one of God's best gifts to me. Love forever.

This is what I've learned this week. God is good. We know this because we just know. It's in us because he made us. Even when it seems God is unfair and His plan is failing, we rest in the faith that he is good. He will not abandon.

New Adventure

Hello All!

Since you are al faithful readers of my blog, I wanted you to be the firsts to know that I've started a new one. I'll still be writing on this one probably, but this year, I've been convicted to do a read-the-Bible-in-a-year adventure. I found a plan that I think suits me, and I'm going to be reading 2 chapters each day and blogging about them at this URL

misssavannahjane.tumblr.com

I would love to have all of you along on this journey.

Love.

Back to School

Today was my first day back to school. I've had an amazing break, and I was seriously dreading going back. However, after buying my books yesterday and going to class today, it feels right. This is what I moved here for. This is what I do, what I'm meant to do. Being lazy and hanging out with my friends almost to the point of excess was a lot of fun, and I look forward to doing exactly the same during my next break, but I'm glad to be back to studying, reading, and writing. I'm sure I'll find time to have fun somewhere in there, too.

I knew a few people in my class, and had friendly conversation with some others, and they all seem pretty cool. I have some truly great out-of-class friends, but it would be really nice to have a lot of in-class friends, too.

This quarter I'm taking 19th Century Irish Literature (which I had today) and Bibliography/Literary Research. I wasn't looking forward to Bibliography class until I bought the books. Mrs. Dalloway and The Wasteland are on the reading list, so I think this professor and I will get along just fine. I'll have that class on Thursday.

After a successful ending to last quarter and writing a good bit on the novel I'm working on over break, I'm feeling pretty confident. We'll just have to wait to see how this quarter turns out.

Update

Nothing clever or inspirational for this post. Just an update on life.

School's over. I don't have my grades yet, and I'm sick because I know I'm somewhere in the middle of an A and a B in both classes. Since I haven't had the stress of papers on my shoulders, I've been having a lot more fun with friends and stuff. It's been really great because for a week or two there, I really didn't see anyone because of my terrific work ethic.

Thanksgiving was actually good. I was concerned because I wasn't going to be home with my family. Truthfully, my family doesn't do that much for Thanksgiving anyhow since all of our family in centrally located in the first place. Also I didn't even go there for Thanksgiving last year. Still, it's a psychological thing.

Molly and I went to see Wes perform in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. We had to wake up early, and it was really cold, but it was good. Then we went to McDonalds for lunch. When Wes came over, we cooked Thanksgiving dinner and watched Love Actually. When that was over, we went to a bar for karaoke.

Yesterday I went to see Wes's show, Kiss Me Kate, in Oak Park. Then I drove us and our friend Jonathan to Second City to see Molly's improv show. We ate Wendy's and sung Glee, while Wes criticized my driving skills.

Today Wes, Molly, and I went to see Kaitlen's show, a children's Christmas musical calls Frosty's Shakes and Dogs. It was hilarious. Then we hung out at a pub after. Wes came over to use the Internet, and we watched a bit of Harry Potter and he took my Hunger Games book.

Basically the theme of all this is: I'm sooooooo happy to be done with school and that I can hang out and not have to always be thinking "UGH I should be writing or reading something." I worked so hard on my final papers. I had no idea I was even capable of work like that. I'm hoping for As. Regardless of the outcome, I know for certain that I did my absolute best.

Dreams

Okay all you Freudians out there. I've been dreaming, and you know what that means.

(Stop asking me if I should be doing my homework since that's all I've been talking about. I need a break, okay?!)

Some of you know because you've had to listen to them in excruciating detail that I tend to have very vivid dreams. Sometimes I wake up really tired because I feel like I've lived an extra day instead of resting while asleep. I'm also a big believer in God giving us messages while we're asleep, and I can say I know for sure He's done that for me at least twice. (Note: I'm not trying to say these particular dreams are from God. Just noting my preoccupation with dreams.) Moving on.

Well, for the past two and a half weeks, I've been having these dreams. There's no action really, just a guy. The same guy. Every night. In the dreams he's my boyfriend, and we just hang out. Once we had a silly fight about buying our friend a gift before a party, and once we were just sitting there on a couch. Nothing interesting. It's just like I'm living a life outside of my awake life. Our relationship progresses each night, and since I started dreaming about him, I haven't missed a night of it. This guy is no one I know, but sometimes I feel like I'm in love with him even though he's just in my dreams.

When I'm on the train, I fantasize about him getting on, too. Our eyes meet. Maybe he's been dreaming of me, too?? Finally meeting him in real life would be a relief.

It's gotten to where when I'm lying down to sleep, I hope that I'll dream of him. If I missed a night, I don't know what I'd do in the morning!

This isn't healthy.

Life

Let's be honest; I have a pretty great life. I rest easy in the assurance of salvation, I have a family who loves and would do anything for me, I have cool friends, both old and new, I live in one of the best cities in the world, I've had amazing opportunities for travel... I could go on, but that's not what this post is about.

There is something really hard about being me. That is this: I feel emotions very intensely. It took me a while to understand that most people aren't like that. Most people are just alright every day. I, on the other hand, am either ecstatic, pissed, depressed, or some other extreme emotion. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I feel like I'm going to explode. My heart beats fast, and I sweat a little; my eyes narrow; my breath comes short and shallow. I can't believe I never turned into a violent person. I never want to hit anyone, just tell them off in an incredibly witty war of words.

I know that all these little things that frustrate me are no big deal, but I just can't help having this reaction. It's takes so little to aggravate me; it takes so little to make me laugh...or cry. This is probably why all writers are either totally insane or alcoholics.

Noise

In Chicago, there's always noise. I haven't heard one second of quiet since I got here. I guess I've gotten used to it now because I don't wake up every time I hear a siren, but I definitely still notice it. Most of the sounds are very unpleasant: the metallic clanking of a homeless guy going through our dumpsters for aluminum cans, the unbearable shrilling of the unfortunate urban kids with no playground going for a walk from the daycare center next door, and the aforementioned earsplitting sirens, which are a constant background even heard while in class.

This has led me to think about my favorite sounds, and here they are.

5) The sound of Cozy eating: I know this is weird, but when she crunches her hard food, it makes a really nice sound that I like.

4) Instrumental Folk/Bluegrass music: Really helps me focus when reading or doing homework or calm down after a busy day.

3) The sound of typing: I love being in the computer lab and hearing all the typing at once. Especially when one types really fast. It sounds really nice.

2) Basketballs bouncing on an indoor basketball court: I don't know if it takes me back to my childhood when I was a basketball star at basketball camp at Memorial Gym (LOL NOT!) when my grandpa still had hope of carrying on his basketball tradition, but I love that sound. This may be why I like High School Musical.

1) Thunderstorms: very typical, but I always find myself hoping for one. Unless, of course, I have to be outside. That sucks.